I have never had the feelings, emotions or control to let lovemaking happen. It has always been a quick-paced, seemingly two-pump chump, and we finish. I fantasize about how it would go sometimes, dream lustful dreams of letting myself get lost, and to feel raw, vulnerable, and exposed.

His hands will be knowing, confident, warm and masculine. And his lips will be parted just enough to let breath and groans escape as he kisses my neck and shoulders. He will look up at me as i straddle his lap, and will be in complete control of himself, calculating his next moves. He and I will both feel heat from eachothers groins, and we will be skin to skin. His tongue will feel my pulse quicken through sensitive and milky skin on my neck as his hands lovingly work their way into my hair, half petting, and half tangling, holding me close.

He won't let it be just about fucking like it has before. He won't let us fall into our usual patterns this night; it will be deeper than that. When he buries himself to the hilt inside my warm velvety slit, we will be as close as two people can possibly be, and isn't that the point? I will want him deeper, not only to feel a tight filling sensation, but also to be even closer, bodies smashed against the other.

I will be there, in his lap, rocking, legs wrapped tightly for more leverage around his waist, and head bent to kiss his mouth. Our eyes will not be closed, but rather open, reading, communicating in an almost silent language of sighs, groans, and breath. We will ungulate together, rising and falling, clinging together. A sheen of glowing moisture will coat our bodies, and we will pant together. I will whimper, and he will get great satisfaction from our connection.

Our eyes will lock, if only for a moment, but seemingly for many, and all will be released. Nails will dig in, breaths will be sucked in through teeth, muscles will clench, and deep carnal noises will escape through our lips. Fluids will mix, and he will push again as far as he can be to be inside me. He will smile to himself and let his hand find mine as my cheek finds his damp chest when I turn to liquid. We will sleep, smelling of sex, with him still inside me, as close as we can be.